Selling Apples

apple

 

Well no one’s come by selling apples yet.  I’ll likely be the first one.  You know like during the Great Depression.  Our community largely works on an Air Force Base locally.  So a lot of us are Furloughed right now.  But I’m actually reduced to doing house chores to entertain myself.  I don’t have TV.  And don’t regret it.  I have radio and the internet.

I have read this morning the story of a brave young woman that inspires me.  Check out Nickihand17.wordpress.com

I feel inspired to share my whole story but find that I am still weighed down by stigma.  Perhaps it is my generation, or my upbringing, or my ego  I don’t know.  I can admit I’m bipolar and that it limits me.  But I find that those around me often refuse to accept my claim.  I function just enough on medication that I have been able to work.  But that is all I can do and that not always well.  I certainly don’t excel at it. Five years same position..

Maybe I should sell apples.  Then my personal hygiene wouldn’t be as important.  Maybe talking to myself would be overlooked.  Maybe I could take a nap mid-day rather than when I got home after work. Then I could have a social life.  Granted it would be under the bridge around the trashcan fires with other manic souls who would appreciate my perspectives on life and the universe.

I wouldn’t have to worry about car insurance and maintenance I could just carry my box of apples door to door.  I wouldn’t have to worry about housing since I could move place to place migrating like the cave woman inside me urges.  That is especially in the spring and fall.  No anxiety cooped up in a office or home.  Man these meds are a burden I could shed. Selling them along with the apples would catch me a pretty penny.

But then I’d miss out on movies or the beach with my almost grown children.  I’d miss air conditioning and heat in the appropriate seasons.  In the desert that’s a major plus.  All I’d have to eat were apples.  I couldn’t consume the goods I enjoy as a consumer.  I wouldn’t have a new place to hang my Christmas ornaments.  I wouldn’t have the internet to fuss over.  The list goes on of all the things I enjoy because I “hang in there”.  For me the saying “An apple a day keeps the doctor away” is more like..

“My meds each day keeps the psychiatrist away”

I understand meds aren’t for everyone but through searching and long suffering the right combination of answers will make themselves known.

Never no never no never give up!!!  When things get rough remember apples. You could wind up selling them from a box …  Things can ALWAYS get worse.  So why not work to make them better! We need more Better in this world.   Leave the apples to the professionals.  Grocers.  🙂

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